I have the sweetest blog ever! Thanks to this super nice lady, Amy....
Click the pic and go check out her blog :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! You are seriously charming, kind and thoughtful to put so much effort into something for a complete stranger. Amy made my blog title design and blog button and emailed me with complete step by step instructions on how to set them up, which I am so friggin clueless about. Thank you again! I am so pleased, I made a new 'Label' to categorize this post under: Awesomeness.
PS: if you enjoy reading my blog please post my button on your own! thnx all :)
I (somehow) will be getting my hands on a bathing suit similar to these, make it myself (is it really hard to make swimwear? Seems like it would be..) or pay someone to make it.
the straps from this one are what I will want..
but then I will have ruching along the sides.
Heart shaped top, with ruching between the breasts (squeal! i said breast.)
Skirt skirt skirt! I want skirts for days. And no sad little 'I get wet and then collapse onto your body' skirt. I want an 'I will bounce back and water will not hold me down' lovely, flared skirt.
I also am thinking the straps should tie in the back behind the neck like a bikini and make a lovely bow.
COLOR: extremely important…
Either a bright aqua blue or pale green or yellow or black with polka dots, depending on how much more black will hide, hehe. Gotta be comfy ladies if you want to rock it properly. If I was cooler I would try to get the whole thing covered in black sequins, similar to the AMAZING leggings owned by my friend Michelle. Hahaha, actually that sounds SWEET. Hmm hmm, must discuss this with my partners in crime.
Alright we’ll start with an update on my HAT (below). The seller is willing to make it for me custom order style I can’t wait to get it! I am going to wear it all summer even if it is 30 degrees. Watch me.
Friday was FSTS: Everything went really well and Andrea successfully became a sister of Iota Beta Chi. I love her name: Sister Independent!
Saturday, as predicted, it was beautiful weather. I got up (early enough), ran some errands, picked up my copy of NEW MOON, washed my car (which was pointless as its pouring rain now), and drove my motorbike around town! It was glorious, and scary, and fun, and wild, and freeing.
Saturday night there were about 10 things happening I could have gone to, but I chose my friend Keana’s birthday party! (feel special ;) cuz you are) Me, Whit and Andrea met them at the Crowne Plaza hotel for predrinks in their room and then we all headed down to Boom (the local gay bar)
HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYY CRAP! So Much Fun! It was a scary amount of fun. Highlights of my night: seeing Nicole! A past soro sister and one of my loves, dancing like crazy fools on the stage (thank you booze, for that), 4 for the price of 3 shots (SKITTLES = MAGIC IN MY MOUTH, SERIOUSLY I COULD DRINK 20,000), chatting it up with the lovely drag queens, trying on their heals and playing with their awesome wigs!, meeting seth rogan, or his 17 year old counterpart, and the general awesomeness that resonates throughout the place.
Amazing night. Keana: please come again soon and do the same thing.
oh and I now have 20 followers. which means that i will be doing a giveaway super soon, cuz it is the cool thing to do! (really i love them..)
does it still count if im following myself and one of my sisters is following me twice?
It is $25 dollars + $7 shipping to Canada = $32.00. It comes in many colours, and I'm sure she'd make it in any color I asked (OMG BRAIN EXPLOSION: MAYBE I COULD GET IT IN MINT...GOING TO ASK)
Anywho, I am super budgeting right now (or trying to..) and I need peoples opinion on whether or not to indulge. Honestly, in the end I'll probably just go with my gut feeling but I'm curious :)
What do you guys think? Should I dish out the cash? Do you think it would be too hot to wear right now? I want to wear it, daily. As in all the time, at work too.
Oh yeah, then there's the coloring. I JUST REALLY LIKE THESE COLORS FOR SOME REASON. I guess they are associated with Jamaica? Or smoking weed, which I don't do. Or Bob Marley, who's music I don't enjoy. So that bothers me...I don't want people to think I'm making some kind of statement with it, other then that I think the colors look kick ass together.
Also, I have a pretty large sized head. Not overly large, like "she looks like a Bratz Doll" large, but sizable to my body, which is 5"11 and not tiny in any way. I want the hat to fit on me like it does on the manikins. Slouchy and casual and comfy and perfect.
AMY RENEE: yes, this is a direct question to you (let's cross our fingers that you read this). You own (or just modeled?) this hat in white AND you know the woman who makes them. What do you think?
Here it is in white. PS could it look anymore gorgeous on you? Pretty much the reason why I even looked at it in the first place.
So! I had an amazing weekend (even though I missed out on all that good stuff that was happening) Saturday morning, me and Dad picked up the bike. Took it home in my gramps trailer, charged the battery up a bit, and even took it around the block a few times. It is PERFECT and awesome. I’ve already dedicated this weekend to cleaning it up and making it all shiny.
Saturday evening I went up to SJ to stay with Jen overnight, YAY! I was in the best mood, and we were having an amazing time….
Until…don don don…
I decided I wasn’t feeling the food court at the mall, so we went to Wendy’s instead, which happens to be right beside a Subway. Guess who was eating supper at this Subway? Come on, 3 guesses.
As we walked to the door to leave I glimpsed the familiar black ranger, and I knew it was him right away because there is a piece of tape stuck to his antenna. (I put it there, long story..) Anyways, I only saw it for a second, but I knew. I said it to Jen and she just kept me walking towards my car. He had pulled around the building and was sitting waiting for us. What are the mofucking odds.
He had recognized my car in the parking lot and had spotted us (likely stuffing our faces with POTATOES! yum) inside.
Heart racing, hands shaking, I tried to be cool. I kept thinking, this is fate: (stupid fate) we are supposed to be together tonight.
After we chatted for a bit his friend texted Jen telling us to go to his place. (Colins phone was dead) So, stupidly, I totally convinced Jen we HAD to go. And it was easy to force her, cuz I was driving lol.
I’ll get him hard, show him what I got. Can’t read my, can’t read my….
So we went, they were hanging out in his buddy's garage, and it was HORRIBLE. Such a man cave: naked women covering the walls, four wheelers, a tv showing a hockey game, a beer fridge, rickety chairs, etc. I could tell Jen was not pleased, but I was just love drunk to be around Colin again, just hanging out like we used to. (STUPID) We didn’t stay there longer then 45 min, we were meeting Jen’s boy at her apt at 10pm, but Colin said told me he would charge his phone and get a hold of me later. That they would come out to the bar and meet us there.
I was terribly excited.
We sat around JB’s drinking oldschool boones and watching Dave Chappelle. Mitch came and we convinced him to drink as well :P. Then his friend came over and then we all went out to the bar.
Alas, no word from douchebag.
What a surprise he didn’t come out, he didn’t text me, he just fucked off as usual.
The next day, Sunday, I went to work bright and early as planned. He showed up around noon. Only me and him. Awkward...
I knew I wouldn’t feel any better until I said something to him, so I just did. He acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about, like he didn’t get why I was mad. I asked him what he had ended up doing and he said he went to a party somewhere in the country. (oh and he went by himself, his other friends went to the bar, a different bar then we were at, but STILL) WHAT THE FUCK. Scum, dirtbag, mo fo, piss me off, jerk, rawr rawr rawwwr! Totally DITCHED ME.
Whatever, move on, get over it.
Pa pa pa pokerface pa pa pokerface.
ok SO. this is the goal of my LIFE:
zero colin acknowledgment.
he is never going to change. i need to stop thinking about this whole situation as if he likes me as much as i like him. everything has just gone to shit. but i cant be mad at him for being who he is. it's my fault i let it affect me. he is an instigator only.
i just dont want to feel anything for him anymore, i just want it to go away, these feelings to be over. Get OUT OF ME.
the only way i can think to make it go away is to completely ignore him. like, i still chat with him and such, but i cant do that anymore. i dont want to be mean to him, but i cannot be his friend right now, or keep doing this thing we are doing (that more and more i think is merely a figment of my imagination). honestly, i dont think he will even notice. and it's sad that that thought makes me sad. im tired of being sad.
frustrating. how did i get here? how did i let it get here. i knew better. i KNOW better. how can a boy make a girl throw all sense out the window?
So far this week I have done just that. To summarize his response to my behavior (he has noticed i guess..), yesterday he stood facing me where only I could see him in the trailer. When I finally looked up at him, it was ONLY to see that he was glaring at me giving me the finger. That would be the worst. The rest of the week, whenever I do slip up and glance at him, I usually receive a pretty severe death stare.
Haha, you all thought it was over. It will never be over, until September when I go back to school.
Other than that this week has been quite pleasant! I got my postcard from my Happy Mail buddy. (mail is slow.) I found out who the new students are that are coming to replace me and Brendon :) so we get to train them up over the summer. My guy is someone who worked with us last year, Ali, and I really like him! Yeah!!! He is super nice, and I'm excited. The other guy I don't know.
Oh YA, I have booked tickets to visit my sister Brittany in Alberta June 24th to July 4th! FINALLY. Mon mon mon mon.
I’m super excited to see her and do crazy things. I have never been to Edmonton either, so that will be fun :D. If only I wasn’t terrified of flying, I would be good.
I am looking forward to tonight when Roro's sister, Delaney comes to visit! Hang outs!!! Thursday the Sorority is having a visit from the Founding Sister, which is quite an honour. I have never met her but am looking forward to it. She is driving down from Halifax just for us. Friday is FSTS, the final initiation of our pledges to become sisters! (yay Andrea!) and then the rest of the weekend will be a blur of motorbike, peoples birthdays and working.
This morning I had a doctors apt to get my birth control refilled. You all know what that means! That fun once a year apt…yupp. Also, funny thing, it was the first time meeting my new doctor. She shook my hand while I was awkwardly standing sideways in my open front paper gown trying not to flash her. Fortunately, she was very nice and made me feel completely comfortable.
So I worked the rest of today here in Fredericton, in Head Office. Boooooring. The most exciting thing that happened was I got to call someone I work with and get them to log on to my computer there and read me some numbers I forgot.
Alice and Wonderland - tons of crazy hype, right? Everybody just seems to be going ape shit over that movie. Even the guys, (yeah, the GUYS) at work were talking about how they tried to go see it but it was sold out and another one was going last night and blah blah. Lol. I don’t know why but I was never really excited for it at all. I ended up wanting to go to it more just so I could see what all the hub bub was about! Me and my lovely Whit went :D.
Alright, here I go.
I totally loved it! It was really really enjoyable. I liked the story and the way it was done in 3D and love love loved the characters. I found every character had their own significant part to play and they all meshed so well together. And, the Mad Hatter, played by none other than Johnny Depp, was even my favorite. Cheshire Cat coming in at a close second. What a cliché am I.
I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps for this coming weekend, because I’m missing out on some of my good friends’ life events. Ashley, who lives in Moncton, is hosting her engagement party on Saturday there. I love her and her fiancé to death, and I wish I could be there to celebrate this wonderful (if not a long time coming) point in their lives with them.
Jojo's bachelorette party is being held on Saturday night in Moncton. She is co-partying it up with another blushing bride and I know that the party is going to be crazy and amazing and I wish I could be there to stick on her fake eyelashes (oh wait..hahaha!) and feed her shots shots shots shots. Shots of love. (and booze)
Sadly, I will be working again this weekend. My dad took Saturday off and borrowed my grampies trailer so we are going to pick up my bike and bring it home. YAY!!!! Then I’ll be heading to SJ for the afternoon. Miss JB has been kind enough to extend an invitation for me to stay overnight at her place so I can go to work easily in the morning. She’s such a doll, isn’t she? I am supposed to be meeting her new beau, Mitch, and I CANNOT WAIT. Hahaha, I’ve only been hearing of him for a month now. ‘Bout time I sized him up, I think ;).
Anyways, I am excited to see her cuz I haven’t in…too long! Tonight I am having a cheap girl date with Whit, and possibly her bf Julian if he pouty-lip weasels his way into our party.
Wishing you all lovely spring weather! xo.
Monday. Surprisingly, it’s been a lovely day. The weather is utterly beautiful for this time of year, +10 or so, sunny, no wind, no clouds. LOOOOVE. It’s weird how much it feels like summer is coming…
And what you’ve all been waiting for! (haha ya right..) DATE NIGHT RECAP.
Oh, whoops…it didn’t happen cuz I totally got blown off! BOO. Haha, alright so this is how it goes: Thursday night I got a text from Josh saying he was getting in really late Friday night and that Sat we should go play pool and then go swimming at the hotel. Well, I don’t go swimming, in a bathing suit, on a date. Not unless I feel perfectly comfortable with the person. So I ignored that little gem, and sent him a msg Friday night instead telling him to let me know when he got in. Saturday night rolls around, still no word. So it’s around 6 and I’m slumming it in my pajamas watching Charmed on DVD (yes, Charmed). I text him asking if he made it in. 30 min later he replies saying yes, alive but tired. I say, sooo what are you doing tonight? An HOUR later I get, Predrinking and then zees, you? I was like, scumbag! Pfft. So I replied with “Oh, I guess I thought we were doing something. Guess not then but have fun!” Then he proceeded to be like you can come too, and I was like, NAH NAH ya done. 9:30pm and I’ve pretty much accepted that it’s just me, my pajamas, charmed and jewelry making. UNTIL, I get a phone call. FROM NONE OTHER THAN EMILY BELL. Basically she demands I come party in a hotel room her bf’s friends have got for one of their birthdays. Takes me about 30 seconds of contemplation before I’m hoping off my bed, turning on the hair straightener and throwing clothes around in the air. I manage to scrounge some booze out of my liquor fridge..pretty much scrapping the bottom of the barrel: a pint of Sailor Jerrys and 3 Mike’s hard coolers = jackpot! She picks me up 20 minutes later, and we’re off to the races.
So we get there and there’s 6 guys and us. The room they’ve been put in, I swear, was decorated for a Disney princess. Pink satin covered chairs, and purple bed spreads with flowers on them?? They were the coolest bunch of guys! So friendly, they all introduced themselves and right away were including us in their conversations and such. Oh, and did I mention they were EXTREMEMLY CUTE?! Yaaaaaaaay! Haha nothing wrong with a room full of good looking really nice men. Thank you Emily! By the end of the night I was being followed into the bathroom by the birthday boy (who I literally had to push out and slam the door shut on) and me and Joel aka the hotest toddie of them all were taking turns literally pouring Sailor Jerry’s straight from the bottle into each others mouths. BAAAAHAHAHAHAA. Shit show and a half. But good times were had by all. When the birthday boy took his clothes off and started walking around in his turquoise briefs we left. I got home probably around 5am.
Oh did I mention I went to work the next day? Yeah, Sunday. I left the house at 9am. How did I manage that? I honestly don’t know.
Oh and guess who was the only other person at work Sunday? Yeah, that’s right, I don’t even have to say it. Enter extreme eye roll here.
This week seems like it’s shaping up to be sick busy here at work, so probably should get back to the grind.
Love to all, and I hope you all get to have amazingly fun random hotel parties with hot guys real soon!
It is a beautiful beautiful day here in Fredericton! About 9 degrees Celsius and not a cloud in the sky. This morning I went to the Honda dealership and paid for my new motorcycle. They all shook my hand and were like "Congratulations on being an owner" :D Mom did the same thing when I got home. I was like hmmmmm, I am an owner, aren't I? Feels pretty good! HAHA. Britt!!! I own a motorbike and you own a bus pass. Buahahahaha! I wwwwiiin! ..I love you..haha.
Then I went to the market, picked up dads Harley Davidson earrings from the repair guy and got some Betty Lee spring rolls YUM ($2.60 for 2...still working with budget...) Was going to go to the library but then realized I didn't have my card, and couldn't afford the $2 new card fee...so I went home.
My poor car seriously needed a shower after 2 weeks of driving to SJ. The carwash lineup was huge, so I brought it home, set up the hose, and washed it outside. Pretty amazing that we can wash our car outside in the beginning of March. This time last year the snow was piled up higher then my car.
Here it is all clean and shiny!
Back yard! There were kids playing next door.
In bare feet on the porch..and not a bit cold.
Me and Cali chillin in the kitchen. Uh, where are the cupboard doors?
Yesterday afternoon, and again today, I just can't get enough: CANCER BATS
Little back story...
This is Liam, the lead singer. They used to come to my next of the woods all the time before they got "MTV" popular...now they don't tour past Quebec very often :( But good for them for achieving success and all I suppose.
Anywho, I went to this a couple summers ago in SJ. That puppet there? I worked at a day camp at the time and I made it that day at work. I brought it for funzies. We were just walking around, and Liam was standing behind the merch table, hiding. He pops out at us and is like OMG IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ME?! Then he asked if he could see it and he got his buddy to take a picture of him with it on his own cell phone! Then I got a pic and a ton of other people were flashing pics of him as he posed. Then he asked us if we wanted to get anything, so we got to butt everyone waiting in line! We got some swanky tshirts. It was pretty awesome.
Today I got home from work late, so I was just bumming around in the kitchen with my momma while she was making dinner. We were talking about men (or boys in my case) and how dumb they are. You know, girl talk.
Then I mention how Josh is coming up this weekend and wants to see me, and that we are making plans. This is my mom's reaction: "Somebodies gonna get sex!"
Yes, this is my mother, through and through. Some of you know her and know how she is (throwback to the jaw story....) Then she starts telling me to be careful cuz army guys sleep around and don't catch anything! and blah blah. Then she starts talking about my dad and then I need to leave the room very quickly.
I love being a girl.
I can feel what you're feeling
as you're feeling it inside
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won't call back.
It's a vibe I share.
I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.
I am an emotional creature.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a
or it's only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready.
They make me present.
They make me strong.
I am an emotional creature.
There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.
I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means
more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can take
away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.
This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be
if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry.
To calm it down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.
It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic ocean
I am an emotional creature.
Why would you want to shut me down
or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.
I love that I can feel the inside
of the feelings in you,
even if it stops my life
even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track
even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional
I am an emotional, devotional,
And I love, hear me,
love love love
being a girl.
Thank you, Katie Elderkin, for bringing this to my attention. Perfect for my day and how I am feeling.
I think it’s about time for a real whiner…let me just begin with how effing boring work has become. So, I stopped seeing Colin, if you didn’t notice that he has been extremely lacking in my posts for about 2 weeks now. It’s been like going off a really good party drug. Not that I’ve had that experience but I imagine it’s pretty damn similar. And not that Colin is the end all be all of entertainment but, compared to the other goings on around here, he was rather amusing.
Sometimes I have mini lapses that go against my whole ‘quitting him’ plan: for example I’ll email him just to chat...yeah, I did that today. STUPID. Before with Colin there was a lot of grief but there was also a lot of really great highs and other perks, including but not limited to: happiness, compassion, caring gestures, laughter, comfort, fun. Now all that stuff I became adjusted to is gone, ffft! and all that is left is this really annoying grinding sensation, like the inside of my stomach has been flattened.
Luckily I just had a too long for work chat with my buddy, Evan. Somehow he managed to cheer me right up. He made me laugh and laugh and he didn’t even know I was bummed. He’s pretty rad that way.
I just received this text message from Josh aka the boy I went out with a couple times before Christmas who moved back to Toronto for work:
Hey I’m coming back to Fredericton this weekend. Do you have any plans? It’d be good to see you again
Weeeeeeeell now. That opens up a whole different weekend scenario for me...ps did I mention how wicked poor I am now because I just spent waaaay to much money on that bike? (Britt and Erica DO NOT RELAY THAT TO MOM!) Basically my plan for the weekend was to continue on my exercise kick, since I’m already in a contract at my gym for the next year that takes 20 bucks out of my bank every 2 weeks. But who knows, maybe a…different kind of exercise? Haha, wink wink nudge nudge. You know what I mean.
Oh holy, all that whining has made me have to pee. Enjoy whatever is remaining of your day!
What a wondrous weekend! OK announcement #1: THE BIKE IS MINE. Me and Dad went to see it on Saturday afternoon and everything looked good, so I put in an offer. The seller called last night to accept. Boooooyah! Now I am literally counting down the days until winter is over and the snow is gone. May May May May May May May May.
So now I am a little poorer, but very happy. This will be the most expensive thing I’ve ever paid for myself other than my education. Yay, me!
Friday night there was a huge snow storm so I ended up watching the Canada vs. Slovakia game at home with dad. Saturday morning I went to the gym for Zumba! It was actually really fun, the first song they played was Bad Romance so I was into it immediately. Someone should really film that class and put it on youtube or something. I’m sure we all look pretty damn ridiculous. But hey, it’s fun!
Saturday after the bike success, I had a nasty headache so took a nap hoping to sleep it off. My parents went out for a party so I was all alone! Before I know it I’m opening my eyes and it’s 10pm. 10PM. I couldn’t believe it, I had been sleeping in my clothing in the corner of my bed, which was absolutely covered with my crap. Had subway sitting beside me on my desk, dvd on pause, tv still on, cell phone blinking violently. It had been on vibrate….. I jump up and begin frantically answering txts and decide that I am going to make it out even though I’m not at all ready and wicked late. I get dressed, straighten the top of my hair ONLY and throw on mascara. OFF, to a gal friends birthday party. All is good! We head out to the bars, poor Whit has lost her ID……. So she goes to meet her bf who is nearby and I head into the old dirty dirty (aka the 20 20) to dance with some lovely sorority ladies. 10 minutes in I am drenched with sweat, it is so hot! I guess I don’t notice it as much when I’m drunk at the bar…did I mention I was dead sober? Driving….
Anywho, around 1am I head to another bar, the capital complex, to meet up with some of the ladies from the birthday party and hopefully see one of my very good boy friends who is visiting for his mb, Andrew. Andrew is standing there waiting for me and we basically hug for 10 minutes while I jump up and down and he just keeps repeating, “I missed you, Ty”. After we close the bar, me and him go to the ONLY place still open in Fredericton at 230am. You know where I’m talking about….that’s right, the Dip. (the Diplomat…a 24 hour “nice” sit down restaurant) When I finally drop him off at my house, I get out of the car to say good bye. We hug, and then he tells me he wants a goodbye kiss, a real kiss. Then he is kissing me, as in a real all out wrap your arms around me kiss. (ps…did I mention he has a gf where he goes to school? :\) But that’s me and Andrew, we’ve been together before, pretty much since the first time we hung out, I was 16, he was 14. (We were so young then!) Now we’re 19 and 21, and still the same: completely at ease with each other and utterly able to be ourselves. I keep saying someday I will marry this guy. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I will.
Sunday was pretty much a blur of sleeping, going to the gym for a kick my ass workout class and the Gold medal Olympic final between Canada and the US in hockey. When Crosby scored the winning goal in overtime me and my mom were literally jumping up and down in front of the living room TV, screaming. Dad was downstairs with his own jumbo set, but I think I heard a “whoop” from him too. When they raised the Canadian flag and played the national anthem, we both stood and sang. By the end I had tears in my eyes.
Then I went to bed.
Haha, all in all glorious ALCOHOL FREE and gym attending weekend. Go me.